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Links
Spamusement
The Spam Poetry Institute
Anthology of Spam Poetry
A blog of the some of the strangest spam email titles (and the occasional message) that you are likely to find.
November 30, 2007
You are of my minions!
Um, Gramps you've had way too much sherry again.
Have a great night with my girlfriend!
Dude, does she KNOW you're offering her around like that?
Increase your stick!
Adhere easily to any surface! Suprise and delight your friends!
stop right there!
Hammertime?
Tamara PICINIC boom
Mr Ranger wouldn't like it, Yogi.
Yogi?
OH MY GOD YOGI! NOOOOOO!!
Yogi?
OH MY GOD YOGI! NOOOOOO!!
Our breasts are too big
Sorry gents, it would appear your viagra order got muddled with the breast enhancing tablets.
His whopping shaft Fernando
Indeed. As ABBA once sang: "There was something in the air that night...."
assrolex
Well, that's one way of keeping yourself regular I suppose.
assaddock
'Ere, get that there 'addock outta there ya idjit.
assamen!
Amen indeed!
Festival Woman Carrot Database Aircraft Carrier
Starring Sarah Michelle Gellar as Beth, the hippychick who took her online diet diary a little TOO far
Enter the new year with a larger pen!
Sign even bigger cheques!
Eric's humungus bodypart
The sad tale of Eric and his infeasibly large coccyx.
Cheap for x-mass
Starring Paris Hilton and Justin Timberlake as the all-american sweethearts who give each other the ultimate gift for Christmas
November 27, 2007
Wheelchair Festival Child Cup Finger
I might just...leave this one alone.
Balloon God Air Onion Passport Apple Cappuccino
With a garden salad on the side.
Prison Leg Man Alphabet Library
A set of alphabet toys, where each piece consists of a man with black-and-white prison-uniform legs.
They'll be all the rage this Christmas.
They'll be all the rage this Christmas.
Cycle Explosive Toilet Solid Carrot
Tough, killer vegetables, riding to destroying bathrooms all over the country.
November 21, 2007
support government nut
Yeah! Salted Macadamia for prime minister!
serious button
No no no! Don't press that!
private crush nose recording
heat shelf argument chief
camera stick toe cake discovery
curve white goatday
new river power addition
future light separate
drop sheep crime size
store solve plane meal
straight face pig protest
authority before soup
paste tired camera
sea nose free right tray
nightrate pleasure
plane red heat bitter suggestion
because strange linen edgebrake lip
there physical secret page degree
help basket
family play
quickplant shade horn
complete board moon milk
private crush nose recording
or kick apple back.
camera stick toe cake discovery
curve white goatday
new river power addition
future light separate
drop sheep crime size
store solve plane meal
straight face pig protest
authority before soup
paste tired camera
sea nose free right tray
nightrate pleasure
plane red heat bitter suggestion
because strange linen edgebrake lip
there physical secret page degree
help basket
family play
quickplant shade horn
complete board moon milk
private crush nose recording
or kick apple back.
paper the brain level
Yeah! I hate it when they paper them all wonky. Totally spoils the feng shui of the cranium.
price serious horse paste
Hmm. About $2 more expensive than the lighthearted horse paste per 250 ml jar.
crack watch last group
Hello and welcome to crack watch. If you see any of the following group of cracks, please contact us immediately. Do not approach them as they are considered armed and extremely dangerous.
postmortem yoda asshat
There, conclusive proof we have, young Jedi! Hmmmmm?
9 times better then v**iagra viaduct
Gosh, it must positively flow uphill!
Family. How do you define them in 1892?
Ye olde folkes?
avid hardwood bonnet larceny
Lawkes! They stole my mahogany beanie!
inescapable bhyliwo tutaeeiowoayfkf
When I was a child, my mother would warn my sister and I not to stray too far from home in case we were caught by the bhyliwo tutaeeiowoayfkf and tied up in its dungeon. Back then I quavered in fear. These days I'd pay good money to be tied up by a cute tutaeeiowoayfkf.
Barely Freakish Cocks
I'm almost astounded.
my zealot cadaver aristocracy rode agleam
All behold the lords of the glowing zombie hunt!
This email must alter your life!
If it doesn't, god will kill a puppy.
worm bling
Pimp your compost heap.
November 19, 2007
Greetings from Russia!
"Hello man!
Write to you the woman from Russia. My name Olga to me of 26 years!
I to want to find the man for serious the relation in your country.
I am ready for creation family and to want it. I cannot find the man in Russia for myself because it very difficultly in Russia.
It is a lot of men in Russia to drink alcohol much it to not like I. I to want to create family and to live in your country because the government to care of people, I to want to live and be sure in the future.
In Russia it is not possible to live easy.
I to tell about myself.
I live in city Yoshkar-Ola it is 1000 km from capital Russia Moscow.
My city small and very beautiful. I to work the seller in shop home appliances.
I the cheerful woman to like to go in for sports and do all what to like the usual person.
My history: we with my girlfriend were going to go in your country as tourists for search of men for serious the relation.
But my girlfriend could not go with me. But now I shall have the visa in 7 days for your country.
I to not want to waste time.
I now in Moscow also wait for reception of my visa. To me would give advice that
I to search the man through the Internet.
I will think to you important to know where I to take yours e-mail.
I was registered in agency of acquaintances and to me to give yours e-mail the address.
If you to want I shall speak with me is glad dialogue with you.
And it is possible we a meeting in 7 days because I can arrive to you.
Please tell to me about itself! About your city! There was to me a photo!
I shall send you a photo of me in the following letter.
I shall wait your answer.
Write to me on e-mail.
Yours faithfully Olga"
Write to you the woman from Russia. My name Olga to me of 26 years!
I to want to find the man for serious the relation in your country.
I am ready for creation family and to want it. I cannot find the man in Russia for myself because it very difficultly in Russia.
It is a lot of men in Russia to drink alcohol much it to not like I. I to want to create family and to live in your country because the government to care of people, I to want to live and be sure in the future.
In Russia it is not possible to live easy.
I to tell about myself.
I live in city Yoshkar-Ola it is 1000 km from capital Russia Moscow.
My city small and very beautiful. I to work the seller in shop home appliances.
I the cheerful woman to like to go in for sports and do all what to like the usual person.
My history: we with my girlfriend were going to go in your country as tourists for search of men for serious the relation.
But my girlfriend could not go with me. But now I shall have the visa in 7 days for your country.
I to not want to waste time.
I now in Moscow also wait for reception of my visa. To me would give advice that
I to search the man through the Internet.
I will think to you important to know where I to take yours e-mail.
I was registered in agency of acquaintances and to me to give yours e-mail the address.
If you to want I shall speak with me is glad dialogue with you.
And it is possible we a meeting in 7 days because I can arrive to you.
Please tell to me about itself! About your city! There was to me a photo!
I shall send you a photo of me in the following letter.
I shall wait your answer.
Write to me on e-mail.
Yours faithfully Olga"
We are here for your penis! You'll like it!
You're here for...what?
...where do you take it?
...where do you take it?
lobsterman
Leaps tall...waves...with a single bound!
94Check it176
Nope, they aren't the same. One is 94, one is 176.
nester detaches objekt
Tell Nester to PUT IT BACK!! And learn to spell.
unsupervised skivvies argiopidae intervent
The skivvies were unsupervised. They staged an intervention against spiders that spin orb webs. Much hilarity ensued.
Gain a magic stick to please your partner
The more powerful ones are endowed with phoenix feathers, I believe.
Aircraft Carrier Highway Room Milk Satellite
Read the story of the greatest air/dairy disaster the world has ever seen.
Hello, Beautiful Russian women waiting to meet YOU! dud
I was right with you til the insults started...
Here is a great chance to earn in part hours
You'll pay me partly in hours?
November 14, 2007
She said last night was awesome
It wasn't bad. This morning was better in my opinion.
furtive sunfish sandwich piston
Pssst. Wanna get pounded by fishy delights? Nudge nudge, wink wink....
Now you can have her trainee brindle bogota
But I'd rather have her qualified brindle bogota.
shed while you sleeep..
Yes! This innocent looking puppy becomes a shed complete with toolbench, rusting bicycles and mouldering carpets every night while you lie in slumber.
Keep your bikini aria smooth
I have a terrifying image of opera-singing Valkyries in way-too-brief swimwear here. One's singing to a startled starfish. Help!
Let Me Watch box
Here's the one my television arrived in. Go for your life.
GET YOUR UNIVERSITY DIPLOMA.. fluoride taste hassle
But... I prefer the hassle-free minty fresh diploma my college awarded me.
Eliminate your bills the christian way
There's got to be a pun here somewhere involving B-Pray or making a prophet...
Soooooo....cheep???
I'd rather moo if it's all the same to you.
Your Doctor say no? We will say yes!
That's fantastic. The question I asked my doctor was "Will you give me a million dollars in exchange for this cockroach carcass?"
Your order N70-326-9323 will be executed and will be delivered
Now that's *fresh* fried chicken
boost your sox life
Grow more feet!
November 13, 2007
we all know that europeans are a bit more uninhabited
Indeed, I myself am European and can vouch for the fact that I am uncolonised.
It's a delight to see how ladies play with their tools!
But remember ladies: always wear eye protection.
She has knob under her dress and knows how to use it correctly!
How Nancy foiled Dr McNasty's trapdoor plans.
crusty barbarian bounce..
Norway's hottest new black metal band.
Boris sent this busty blonde teen
Boris has a strange idea of what makes a good wedding gift.
Win enough money to keep an Irishman drunk for a year!
(or to keep Oprah in pies for a month)
capo afterglow....
It's how you know your guitarist has "magic hands" ;)
come nail some fine tail!
Christopher Robin and Eeyore meets modern vernacular
HOT-HOT-HOT-MOMMY!!!
Mother dear, please get out of the microwave.
November 12, 2007
picnicking geneva
The unsuccessful follow-up single after "Waltzing Matilda"
Why did God choose Mary?
To have easy access to her little lamb? Because she was quite contrary and He was into that?
Dr Phil answers all this and more on tonight's Oprah. Probably.
Dr Phil answers all this and more on tonight's Oprah. Probably.
Now, since I was both, he could not resist loving me even more.
No comment.
Cluck here four hore details xX corncob55^
This is why you shouldn't let spammers do drugs.
spreading marmalade prologue
The extremely kinky prequil to The Vagina Monologues
Please respond or Ramesh may think you said no :(
Wouldn't want that, would we. I actually said "No way in hell" :)
A WIND ADVISORY IN THE MISTY FJORDS REGION
Yeah sorry about that, I had curry last night.
MY CANADIAN. MINE
OK, OK! It's fine, I don't want your canadian. I'm happy to stick with my Australian.
Your darling needs that special touch...
...higher....lower...across a bit......no no no you're doing it wrong *sigh*
Take a quick look at this thing.
Things just aint what they used to be, huh?
November 02, 2007
Ill fling you on the surface, tied to the foot of a frog
Life imitates French theatre?
My mother died instantly but my father died after five days in a private hospital on that faithful afternoon.
It's like four seasons in one day, but different.
I wouldn't recommend that hospital either - it would have only taken three days on the national health.
I wouldn't recommend that hospital either - it would have only taken three days on the national health.
My father was a prosperous coffee and tin ore merchant
Ah yes, many's a time I've hit a rich seam of coffee ore...
he attacked my mother with unknown assassins
How cheap of him. He could at least have used store-brand.
I desire, that is what you necessitate.
I yearn, therefore I am.
Intensify sexual life trip
Yeah man, like... woah that's like fab man.
...love you, man
...totally.
...love you, man
...totally.
A late survey shows that 53% of women are disconcerted with their sexual colleague
Aren't there laws against that sort of thing?
My pills is an all natural grass product
Moo?
pliant and soluble under the clapper
Tsk, those campanologists, eh?
November 01, 2007
That Big Buddha Bud is the bomb
High explosives?
